EARLY ACCESS (22,300 words)
* * * The story: Dane identifies as straight, but has dissociative identity disorder, with his alter, Edan, forcing him into servicing men for its amusement. * * *
category: gay male
Tags: #dominance and submission
My name is Dane. I’m a twenty-three year old straight guy from the South of England. Right now, I’m on my knees, servicing some leather-clad, hairy gay man, whose beard looks like a 1970s porn star’s pubic bush, cursing myself to fuck and back. Because I didn’t come here, to this back-country sex party. And I sure as fuck didn’t get down on my knees and take this man’s sweaty cock in my mouth after half a dozen beers, and what feels like half an E.
No. Edan did that, because Edan’s a fucking whore, with a black sense of humour, and he finds it amusing.
My name is Dane, and this is a story about how I discovered I have dissociative identity disorder, and that my other half—I wish that were a joke—can be the biggest arsehole you’ve ever met, and he lives inside my head.
I was nineteen when Edan first turned up. Those of you who’re observant, will notice my ‘other half’ did the imaginative thing, and rearranged the letters of my name to make his own. Edan, as it turns out, is a Celtic name, meaning ‘fire’. Ironically, Dane is an English name, meaning brook. Fire and Water. Edan has such a fucking sense of humour.
It started small, as others have told me has been the same for them. Small patches of missing time. Cuts and bruises appearing, with no idea how I’d got them. And then, not long after my twenty-third birthday, phone calls and texts, from people asking for ‘Edan’, wanting to hook up. Again.
At first, I thought someone had left my number on a toilet stall wall somewhere. Probably an ex-girlfriend. For some reason (thanks again, Edan), I seemed to go through quite a few. They rarely told me why they were breaking up with me, just broke off all contact. And when they did stick around long enough to give me a reason, none of what they said made much sense, and I chalked it down to the general insanity of women.
As it turned out, they weren’t the insane ones.
So, I changed my number, thinking that would be the end of the odd messages. But no. I’d had my new SIM for less than a week, when another text arrived for ‘Edan’.
Only two people had my number at that point. My best mate, Martin, and my parents. I count my parents as one unit, since my Dad never did learn how to use his mobile phone, and once landlines became obsolete due to the cost of calling cellphones, he relied on my Mum to contact the outside world.
I went round to Martin’s house and banged on the door.
He answered wearing a sweat-stained singlet and a pair of sweatpants, and looked as if he’d been working out in the basement. He kept a weights set down there, and was obsessed with building up his ‘guns’.
“Hey, mate, it’s late. What are you doing here?”
I held out my phone, displaying the latest text for ‘Edan’. It read, ‘Hey baby, luved ur mouth on my cock last night. Can’t wait 2 c u again! xx’ It was signed, ‘Ray’.
“What the motherfucking fuck, Marty!” I said. “I just got this number, and you’ve already handing it out to whoever this comedian is?”
He took the phone from me and made a face that looked a lot like he was... and yeah, there it was. Like he was about to burst out laughing.
He handed the phone back to me. “Your alter ego catching up with you, mate?”
I frowned at him. “What are you on about?”
“Your alter-ego. Edan.” He said the name in this sing-song voice that, at the time, made no sense to me.
“Mate, I honestly have no fucking clue what you’re on about.”
“Edan. The guy who likes to suck cock?” he said. He was losing the mocking lilt to his voice as he saw my extremely bothered expression.
“Why am I getting messages for some guy called ‘Edan’, who likes to suck cock?”
He went pale.
“You mean it, don’t you? You have no idea. Jesus Christ, please tell me you weren’t off your face every time? Please tell me I didn’t rape you.”
My mouth dropped open. I stared at him, feeling the world lurch. The words ‘rape’ and ‘you’, were not words I ever expected to hear in a sentence directed at me.
Seeing my face, he said, “Fuck. You’d better come in.”
He put an arm around my shoulders and guided me into the house.
As we stepped into the hallway I sniffed at him, inhaling his funk deep into my lungs. Christ, what was I doing? He smelled ripe as fuck, and I was sucking down his stink like he was baked goods fresh out of the oven.
“You like that?” he said.
I made a face and shook my head.
“You smell disgusting, mate.”
He looked taken aback.
“You’ve never complained before. Okay, well, why don’t you head up to my room, while I take a shower?”
For a moment I had an urge to ask him not to, but the images that flashed behind my eyes,
...his thick, sweaty cock and his heavy ballsack draped across my face, the stink of male musk, that faint whiff of piss...
... made me want to heave.
I sat on Martin’s unmade bed, and picked idly at what looked like a patch of spilt mayonnaise on his sheets, thinking, This guy. This guy needs to stop eating in bed. And then I peered at it a bit closer. And by the time he came back from the shower, wrapped in a towel, I was nuzzling that patch of mayonnaise and licking at it like a dog.
“Dane!” He pulled me upright, and my eyes opened wide. I realised what I’d been doing, and did not, for one second, understand how I’d come to be doing it. Dane is not an idiot. But when Edan’s in control, Dane is fucking brain damaged.
“What were you doing?” he asked.
“Finding out wherever there is comfort, there is cum?” I said, my voice loaded with disgust. But secretly, only at myself.
He sat down beside me, mercifully covering the damp patch I’d left on his filthy sheets.
He gave me a worried look. “So, how much of the last month do you remember?”
“Define ‘the last month’,” I said. I remembered quite a bit of the last month, but none of it included him ‘raping’ me, drunk or otherwise.
“Oh fuck,” he said. “Fuck.”
He got up again, and walked in a circle, a hand gripping the hair at the back of his head. He turned back to me, still wearing only a towel.
“This can’t be happening.”
“Martin,” I said. “What can’t be happening?”
If this was a joke, he was taking it way too far.
“Okay.” He put his hands on his hips. “Okay. Fuck.”
“Look mate,” I said to him. “I’m sure whatever it is, it can’t be that bad if I don’t remember it.”
He shook his head. “That’s just it! I don’t see how you don’t remember! Fuck!”
I got up and approached him, and he shrank away from me. I’m not a big guy—just on five ten, around a hundred and forty pounds, and usually weigh less than my girlfriends (I like girls who can pin me down in a wrestling match from time to time). When I bulk up, I’m up around one-fifty-four, but at this point in my life, I was a PlayStation junkie who couldn’t afford haircuts, living off Pot Noodles.
But despite my size, when I’m pissed off, people tend to get out of my way. I think they sense Edan’s in there. Something off-kilter. Something not quite right.
Martin put up his hands. “Dane, don’t do anything stupid. It was an accident!”
“Stop pissing about and tell me what was an accident!”
I had him up against the wall now, and he was breathing hard. He looked as if he might be about to cry.
“Okay. Look, please don’t freak out.” He put his hands out again, almost touching my chest, but not quite, and I stepped back and gave him some space. “About three weeks ago, you sent me a text saying you were super horny. You wanted to get together to watch some porn you’d found. I asked for a link, and you said no, you had it on your hard drive, and it was amazing.”
I stared at him. As far as I was concerned, none of this had happened.
“When I got to your place, your flatmates said you were in your room. I knocked, and you said ‘come in’, and I did, and you were on your bed, naked, jacking yourself.”
“So, you turned round and left? Marty? So you turned around, and left. Yeah?”
He shook his head, still looking mortified. “I mean, I was there to see this amazing porn, right? And it’s not like I haven’t seen your John Thomas before.”
I blinked. I’d never heard him call it that before.
“So, I came in, you put on your amazing porn, which happened to be a fit bloke sucking off another fit bloke, and I sat on your computer chair and stared at it. And then I stared at you. And you gave me this... this look.”
He let out a shuddering breath.
“This fucking ‘come fuck me’ look that made me instantly go hard. And then, you said, and I’ll never forget this—you said, ‘Do you want me to do that to you?’. And then, you did.”
“And then, I did,” I repeated back at him in a dull voice.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “And I swear, I swear, if I’d known you were on something, I never would have. But you didn’t seem like you were fucked up.”
“Except for the whole ‘wanting to suck your dick’ thing.”
“Yeah, except for that.”
I grew aware that the fuck had an erection right now, as we were speaking. And a second later, I realised I had one too.
“So, what you’re telling me is that I’ve sucked your dick?”
“A few times, yeah.”
I closed my eyes, fighting down a flood of unwelcome emotion. There was what you’d expect—disgust, horror, surprise. But there was also the very unwelcome desire to do what he was describing. Again, apparently.
“Dane, you’ve got to believe me—”
“I believe you!” I said. I walked backwards to his bed and sat down heavily. I glanced up at him. “But what’s ‘Edan’ got to do with all this?”
He made a face that told me he really, really didn’t want to tell me.
“Spit it out,” I said.
“Why? You don’t,” he said.
“Fuck, Marty, really? Could you not?”
He gave me a sheepish smile. “Sorry, sorry.”
He came back to the bed and sat beside me again. “Okay, I’ve got no idea what’s going on, but I’ll tell you how it goes down. I come around. You’re usually naked, looking at porn. One of the guys usually looks a bit like you. One of them usually looks a bit like me.”
He gave me a wary look to see if I was going to attack him, but I was beyond that. I was in shock.
“I come around, we watch porn for a bit, then you suck me off.”
“Well, while you’re doing it, you ask me to call you Edan.”
“I ask you to...”
“Well. You call yourself Edan. And if I call you ‘Dane’, you correct me.”
I did not fucking see at all.
“Wait—do you actually suck me off too? Or is this all a one-way thing?”
He shrugged. “I’m not gay, mate. I just figured you were, and this was how you were getting it out of your system until you worked up the courage to come out.”
I took in a deep breath and let it out again. “You’re not gay... but you don’t mind a man sucking you off?”
He shrugged again. “You’re my mate. I’m happy to help you out.”
I sat very still for a bit, containing my rage. But the fact was, whether or not he returned the favour, there was still the question of why I didn’t remember sucking him off in the first place. And what was all this bollocks about calling myself ‘Edan’?
“So,” he asked gently. “Were you drunk or something all those times? Have I done something really bad?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t think so. I don’t have enough cash to get that boozed. Besides, surely you’d be able to tell if I was off my tits?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea.”
I glanced sideways at him, and there was his erection, tenting the towel. Apparently his fear of having raped me hadn’t turned him off in the slightest.
And then, at the back of my head, there was this voice laughing at me. Like some maniac was lodged back there in the dark, enjoying a good joke.
I got to know his voice well over the next few years. Learned how it felt to have him come into my body, the way the many men he seduced and offered my body to, did.
But that night, all I knew was that strange things were happening inside me. Things I wasn’t in control of, and apparently couldn’t remember.
“You ah... you look a bit Edan now,” said Martin, and I could see the thought excited him.
His breathing sped up as I looked at him. Was I giving him that look he said I’d given him before? A ‘come fuck me’ look, whatever that was? All I knew was that he seemed to think something good was about to happen.
I was in my body, but I wasn’t thinking clearly as I got to my feet. I stood in front of him and he spread his legs wide, leaning back on his hands. The movement caused the towel to come loose, and he tugged it open with one hand so his stiff cock was free, then leaned back on his hands again.
His eyes locked to mine, his excitement evident from his massive fucking erection, precum already welling from the swollen tip.
“Dane?” he said breathlessly. “Do you really want to do this?”
When I answered him, the voice that came out of my mouth was mine... but the words were formed by someone else.
“Don’t be stupid.” I gave him a lazy smile. “You know I can’t get enough of your cock.”
Well. It was nearly my voice. But there was an edge to it. It was similar to the way I dirty-talked my girlfriends; only this was my best mate.
Marty gave a shaky sigh of relief.
“Thank God. You had me going there for a minute.” He laughed nervously. “I should have known you were just after some late-night roleplay. You’re such a freak.”
I glanced up and caught a glimpse of myself in the dark slit of glass visible between the curtains. I didn’t look like myself. I looked... different. I hadn’t realised how I’d dressed myself before I’d come to his house. My hair hit my shoulders, but I’d styled it. My top didn’t quite meet my skinny jeans, and I was wearing... jewellery. When had I gotten my ears pierced? How had I not noticed that? Come to think of it, when had I bought a fucking crop-top?
I gave myself this contemptuous, self-satisfied look, and then sank to my knees between Martin’s spread legs.
He leaned even further back as I took his cock in one hand and started to stroke it.
Outwardly, I was a guy seducing his friend. Inside, I was petrified, struggling against the alien presence that had taken over my body.
Edan’s voice sounded inside my head.
‘Dane, Dane, Dane, you straight-acting fuckboy! Better buckle up and enjoy yourself! There’s plenty more where this came from!’
And with that, it was as if a massive hand landed on the back of my head, pushing my face towards Martin’s solid flesh.
I couldn’t speak. Edan had control of my vocal chords, and all I could do was let out a choking noise of disgust, as he pressed my closed lips against the tip of Martin’s penis and painted them with precum.
The taut, smooth feel of Marty’s flesh, and the stickiness coating my lips, should have been a foreign sensation, but it felt horribly familiar. I couldn’t remember where I’d felt it. I only knew that I had.
“Fuck, Dane, enough of the foreplay! Stop teasing me and suck it!”
Martin was not helping.
Edan grinned inside my head, and I parted my lips, taking that round, hard head into my mouth. I’d never felt another sensation like it, that turgid flesh resting on my tongue. I was aware of how sensitive it was and how careful I needed to be to be, even as I screamed internally that I was on the absolute wrong end of tonguing a cock.
Martin was cut, and his flared tip was far harder than mine felt when I played with myself. He was a bit longer than me, but both of us were above average. He was also thicker than me, especially that bruised-coloured head. Since I wasn’t used to having anything like that in my mouth, I immediately felt it in my jaw as I hinged it open and started licking his knob, swirling my tongue around the hard ridge of flesh, tasting him.
At the back of my skull, Edan whispered, ‘Usually we don’t let him shower first’.
I shuddered. In that moment, I felt true hatred for the demented prick I shared my body with.
Maybe, I thought, as I got Martin’s knob nice and shiny, I had a conjoined twin, lodged like a tumour in my brain. A second mind, capable of wresting control of the body completely, or forcing me to ride as a passenger while he turned me into a cock-hungry manslut.
‘Okay Dane, down we go!’
Edan’s voice was full of glee as I opened my mouth wider, and proceeded to turn my face into a cunt for Martin’s cock.
As Dane, I had no idea how to give a blowjob, beyond what I liked done to me. A cliché, but a true one.
With Edan driving, I had ideas.
I got Martin’s prick as wet as possible while he moaned above me, slowly moving further and further down with each slide up and down his cock, until the tip of him brushed against the back of my throat.
I wanted to back off, but Edan was cumming in his metaphorical pants. He held me there, the back of my tongue massaging Martin’s big, round knob, as surely as if I had a hand jamming me in place.
And then he pushed me down further.
To my surprise, I didn’t gag. Instead, I took Martin into my throat. Not far. But far enough to want to throw up from the sheer sensation of being on my knees, gulping down another man’s prick. He wasn’t even making me do it. No, Marty was lying back on his elbows, his eyes closed in ecstasy, while I set about pleasuring him.
Edan, who I could now see as a pair of eyes and a set of grinning teeth in my mind’s eye, was overjoyed.
‘I wasn’t sure you’d be able to do it, straight-boy. I thought you’d be puking your guts out about now. But something tells me we’re not so different.’
I tried to say, ‘get fucked’ around Marty’s cock, but it was unintelligible, and Marty just moaned at the vibrations and the movement of my throat around him.
Edan briefly let me up, and I slid as far off Marty’s cock as I could, before another internal shove buried my nose in my best mate’s trimmed pubic hair.
Edan held my head down as far as it would go, and I felt moisture from the crease where Marty’s cock joined his groin dampen the end of my nose. At least he was clean. The only scent he had now was of soap, and the faint smell of his skin.
Christ, why was part of me disappointed?
“Fuck, Dane, you’re amazing!”
I wanted to shout at him that it wasn’t me. But the fact was, I was very much in the room.
‘And look, straight-boy. You’re pitching a pavillion.’
Edan had me slide back off Marty’s cock, leaving sticky fluid all over it, then had me lick it clean, before deep throating him again.
Then, when Marty was moaning and panting like he was ready to burst, Edan pulled my head off his cock.
What now? I thought.
Edan answered. ‘Taste his balls. I want this to last.’
I later learned that we were doing things out of order, so Edan could see what he could make me do against my will, with me fully conscious. But since no girlfriend of mine had ever done much with my balls, other than play with them when I asked her to, I had no idea what he wanted me to do.
He showed me.
“Oh fuck, stop fucking about and just finish me!” moaned Marty, but Edan was having none of it.
He had me grip Marty’s cock with one hand and pull it upward, then had me dip my head to explore his tucked-tight nutsack.
Martin had pretty good hygiene, and kept everything trimmed—but not shaved. Edan had me tug his nuts back down from his body, which got a groan of complaint from the poor bastard, and then had me run my tongue along the underside of his sac.
The feel of that prickly, wrinkled skin against my tongue, with the tautness of his nuts inside, was indescribably weird. I had some other guy’s nuts in my mouth. Yes, Edan had me take his nuts into my mouth, one by one, massaging and rolling them against my tongue.
“Fuck Dane, stop teasing me, please! You’re killing me!”
I pulled off his nuts long enough to say in—God help me—my normal voice, “You want me to let you cum? Better beg for it.”
“Call me Edan.” The fucker grinned as he forced me to say his name.
“Okay, Edan, please, fuck, let me cum!”
Edan had me take Marty back into my mouth, and once again I found my face mashed into Marty’s pubic hair, my nose grinding against his groin.
‘Let me up, you prick!’ I screamed at Edan, which translated as a groan that did nothing but give Marty’s dick good vibrations.
“Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming!”
Martin sat up and grabbed handfuls of my hair. Before I could pull away, his dick swelled and surged, injecting spurt after spurt of hot cum into my mouth, splashing into my throat.
“Yeah bitch, take it!” he shouted, as I fought desperately against Edan, trying to pull away from the obscene sensation of swallowing Marty’s hot spunk. But my dark half had me gulp down every mouthful of man-cream Marty produced, and then the fucker had me lick my best mate’s cock clean.
A small noise of satisfaction came from my throat, and I had no idea if I’d made it, or Edan had.
‘Like a good little bitch,’ Edan said, wanking softly in the back of my mind. ‘And you just came from giving head’.
I glanced down as Marty’s spent cock fell from my mouth with a wet plop, and found he was right. There was a distinctive stickiness on the inside of my briefs. As I watched, it started to soak through my jeans.
I swallowed hard as I knelt there, my eyes burning, not understanding what had just happened.
Marty let go of my hair. He must have seen how upset I was, because he got a look of horror on his face.
“Did you not want to do that?”
Edan let me go with an evil cackle.
I got quickly to my feet. No way was I letting Marty see me cry. I’d already sucked his dick; that was enough humiliation for one night.
I pulled open the bedroom door and jogged down the stairs. I was in my car, turning over the engine, before he could pull on a robe and get to the front door.
After that, Marty and I didn’t see each other again.
I was sad, but relieved, as much as I missed my best friend.
But it only a small reprieve. Edan had other plans.
Why didn’t I go to a psychiatrist, I hear you say? Oh sweethearts. Oh best beloveds. I tried. I had one session, and got given a prescription for antidepressants that Edan threw away.
No one was going to save me from him.
After that night, Edan often rode up front in my consciousness as a passenger, but from time to time he thought it was hilarious to take over completely. Those were the nights I’d wake up in my bed, covered in God knows whose cum, with an aching arsehole and what felt like a dislocated jaw.
I never suffered any injury though, which I took to mean I’d likely only had a finger inside me. But who knew. I didn’t.
And then the night arrived when Edan revealed what he’d been up to.
It was Friday, and I’d had every intention of going to see my girlfriend. We’d been together for a couple of months, and we spent most of our weekends together.
I usually stayed at her place, as it was cleaner than the hovel I lived in, working my minimum wage job. I’d thrown a shirt and some spare pants into a bag, ready to head over to her place, when Edan was suddenly there. Sitting like a spider in the dark part of my mind.
“Go away,” I told him. “I’m going to have some nice hetero sex this weekend, and you’re not fucking it up!”
Edan sneered at me. It’s hard to explain how a presence can sneer at you, but sometimes Edan would catch my eye in a mirror. He’d stretch my mouth wide in this evil-as-fuck grin, looking up at me like some demented serial killer. When he was riding me like that, my pupils always got big and black and shiny. I could watch them dilate in the mirror, then shrink down again to normal size when he slunk back into the dark.
When he used my mouth to talk to me, it always left me shivering at the oddness of it. He knew how much it fucked with me, and didn’t do it often; I figured he wanted to preserve the impact of it. I never got used to his natural voice, the way it tightened my vocal chords. I was guessing if he were a separate person, he’d be even smaller than me. And infinitely more evil.
‘I have plans for you tonight,’ he told me. ‘Tonight, you’re meeting a man named ‘Malcolm’ who really wants to bareback that tight little arse of yours. Just the way you told him you like it.’
I stood stock still, trembling at this thought. It took me a while to get up the courage to say out loud, “Have I had gay sex before, Edan?”
‘Not yet,’ he said, his voice so full of clotted self-satisfaction, I was surprised he didn’t choke on it. ‘Tonight you’re going to lose your virginity. Aren’t you excited?’
“As me, or you?” I asked.
Perhaps a small distinction to an outsider, but sometimes it was easier to be a passenger and just let him take over. He had a way of working a guy’s cock I could almost admire. He really went at it. Gave them lots of eye contact, lots of spit. And he’d do gross things that I sure as fuck wouldn’t do, and that I preferred not to remember. But at least he never made me do those things as myself.
‘Oh, baby, tonight it’s all Dane, all the way.’
I let out a very unmanly sob of fear. I was shaking so badly, I had to sit down.
“Edan, please don’t make me do this.”
‘Edan, please don’t make me do this!’ he mimicked, in my own voice. It was his way of reminding me that, however much I hated him, however much I wanted to separate myself from him, he was a part of me. He was me.
I left my bag on my bed, and headed out to my car. There was no point in fighting him. At this point, when he told me what he wanted, I just did it. Otherwise, he found ways to punish me—like those gross acts I mentioned before. But if I did what he wanted, all he had me do was humiliate myself by sucking some random guy’s cock, and swallowing his load.
As I drove, Edan started to taunt me. ‘You’re ready for this,’ he said. ‘I’ve been loosening you up for weeks. You’ve been wearing a butt plug to bed for the last seven days.’
Well, that explained a lot. Why I’d slept so well. Why I’d woken up with an odd, stretched feeling ‘back there’.
Come to think of it...
Edan sniggered. ‘Yes, you’re wearing one right now.’
I shifted in my seat and felt it suddenly. He’d somehow kept the sensation from me until that moment. My arse was full, something hard nudging against my insides.
The fear inside me subsided a touch. At least he’d prepared me. That meant he wasn’t intending to torture me. Just humiliate me.
‘Now, tonight, Dane, you’re going to be Malcolm’s bitchboy. His obedient little sex slave. When you get there, do exactly as he says.’
“What the fuck have you got me into?” I said to the empty car, starting to hyperventilate.
‘Do exactly as he says,’ Edan repeated. ’You’ve told him you love being bitched. He knows you’re a virgin, and he knows you like to be tied up—’
“What??” I yelped. It was bad enough having Edan controlling my every movement, but being physically restrained by a stranger... that was a whole other level of fucked.
‘Oh, and you’re going to be blindfolded,’ said Edan.
“Fuuuuuck,” I said. “Edan, you twisted prick!” My voice was high with anxiety.
He just laughed.
We drove the rest of the way in silence, me getting more and more anxious about what was about to be done to me.
I pulled up outside this guy’s house about ten minutes later, and walked up the path.
‘Now, remember, do exactly as he says. Or he will punish you. And so will I.’
I stood on the doorstep with a dry mouth, unable to swallow, shivering down in my jacket, with a throbbing erection in my jeans.
I hated that Edan could do that to me, too. Turn me on against my will.
I finally got up the courage to knock. The second I did, I went blind.
‘I told you you’d be blindfolded,’ said Edan, the smug, smug fuck. ‘I told him you’re blind.’
“What have you done to me?” I started to hyperventilate again. I was standing on a stranger’s doorstep, completely blind. If he was some kind of mass murderer, I had no way to defend myself.
‘You’ll be fine,’ said Edan. ‘I can still see, and I don’t want to die any more than you do. But isn’t this fun?’
I tried to calm down as I knocked on the door again, finally hearing footsteps coming towards the door.
“And just how the fuck does he think I got here?” I hissed.
That was never answered, as ‘Malcolm’ answered the door.
“Well, look at you.” His voice was low and smooth, and I imagined him to be a touch taller than me, and likely a bigger man all around. He didn’t have that solid bass that very big men have, but more the voice of an average man with a bit of muscle.
I was glad of that. If I needed to, I could probably overpower him—if I was desperate enough.
“Come inside,” he said, and put a hand on my shoulder, guiding me over the threshold.
I jumped as he shut the door behind us, and he chuckled.
“Right. First things first. With you being blind, I want to make absolutely sure you know what you’re in for. Tonight, and possibly going forward if you do well, I’m going to teach you how to be an obedient slave for the use of myself and others. I’m going to bind you, beat you, and teach you how to give men pleasure with your body. Do you consent to all of this?”
My tongue was sticky in my mouth as I tried to say, ‘No, not really’, but Edan was there, controlling every consonant, every vowel. He used my voice, even as he grinned away at the back of my skull.
“Yes, ssss—” Edan tried to form the word ‘Sir’, and I fought it with every ounce of willpower I had. No fucking way was that word coming out of my mouth. I didn’t care what labels Malcolm and Edan used to humiliate me, but I’d bite my own tongue off before I submitted to another man verbally.
Edan let me win, and I clamped my mouth shut. I had no doubt it’d be full soon enough anyway.
“Are you still happy with everything we agreed to by email?” Malcolm asked.
Edan forced me to nod.
“Alright then. I’m going to take this as your full and complete consent for everything that happens here tonight.”
Edan wouldn’t let me whimper, but my vocal chords tightened without me making any sound.
“Use me any way you want,” he whispered, and Malcolm chuckled again.
“Oh, I will.”
‘You cunt,’ I spat at Edan. ’What have you done?’
If I hadn’t been blind already, I’d have squeezed my eyes shut in humiliation. But all the while, I was aware of how fucking hard I was, and a growing, unsettling desire to have this man’s cock in my mouth. Maybe somewhere else, too.
My arsehole was pulsing against the plug, and my dick was already leaking.
“Well then. Just so you know, I’ve recorded you saying you’re okay with everything on video. You’re mine now, boy. Let’s have some fun.”
‘Oh God, Edan, you fucking cockwank!’
Seated comfortably in the back part of my brain like a cancerous mass, Edan laughed and laughed, as Malcolm led me down a set of stairs, guiding me with a hand on my shoulder. There was no carpet, and my trainers scuffed against concrete. It smelled of damp. We had to be in his basement.
‘His dungeon,’ crowed Edan.
I got a sudden surge of terror that Edan had sent me to the house of some internet cannibal, and I was about to be tortured and eaten. But Malcolm guided me over to a bed and sat me on the side of it. I felt more secure once he’d oriented me—still afraid, but glad to know there was something soft in the room.
“Strip,” he ordered. “I want to see what I’m working with.”
I knew there was no point in trying to fight him. Edan would make sure I obeyed every command he gave me anyway, so I stripped.
I shrugged out of my jacket, then tugged my shirt off over my head. I stood and pushed my jeans and briefs to the ground, kicking off my trainers as I pulled my jeans off over my feet.
I stood there, waiting for his next instruction, shivering more from nervousness than cold, with my hands covering my modesty, and my heart hammering against the inside of my ribs.
Malcolm made a noise of approval. “You’ve got a nice body, boy. I’m going to enjoy using it.”
I yelped as he gripped a nipple between two fingers and squeezed.
“We’ll have to fix that,” he said, and I didn’t want to know what ‘that’ was, or how he intended to fix it.
He stepped behind me and smacked my arse with his bare hand, and I let out another startled yelp.
Malcolm chuckled, clearly enjoying himself.
Although Edan had said I’d be present through everything he had planned for me, he chose that moment to seize control for a short chunk of time.
When I came back to the surface, I had something fastened around my neck, something in my mouth that kept it open, my hands were fastened behind my back, my arse hurt as if someone had been smacking me with something hard, and I was on my knees on the cold, hard floor.
I whimpered then, Edan letting me have control over my vocal chords, since I couldn’t form words with my mouth stretched open like that anyway.
‘Edan? Edan! Get me out of here!’
But everything in my mind was eerily silent. If there was a safe word, Edan wasn’t telling me. Maybe that’s why he’d taken over. To make sure I had no way out, and had to live through every moment of this on my own.
My face felt sticky, and I wondered if Malcolm had already cum on me. Or worse.
Hands gripped my hair, and a cock slipped through the ring keeping my mouth open, instantly invading my throat.
Malcolm wasn’t gentle. He grunted as he pistoned in and out of my mouth, treating me like a fleshlight, all the time keeping up a running commentary.
“There’s nothing more beautiful than a submissive boy on his knees. Look at you, taking my cock like a champ. You love wearing my cum on your face, don’t you? Well, don’t worry, you’ll get to eat it this time. And when the others arrive, you’ll get an all-you-can-eat buffet.”
I moaned in fear, and also because my cock was incredibly hard—pulsing, throbbing, mind-fuckingly hard—and I couldn’t touch it.
All I could do was take this man’s huge, veiny cock in my throat.
And then Edan thought it’d be amusing to give me back my sight.
My initial view was of a pair of solid, muscular thighs covered in dark hair, and a swiftly approaching groomed, but hairy groin, as Malcolm impaled my face, pulling me onto him in a steady rhythm.
And then my eyes travelled upwards, and I saw his face for the first time.
He grinned down at me. If he noticed my eyes were focused now, he didn’t say anything. But his grin was so wide, he could almost have been an incarnation of Edan; except he was bigger than I imagined Edan to be. Broader through the shoulders. More solid.
Malcolm was, as near as I could tell from my position at his feet, about average height. As he forced me onto his cock, I looked up into his light brown eyes, shaded with heavy eyebrows under short, dark hair. His eyes were full of command, even when he was smiling, as he was now.
“Get ready to drink my cum, boy!” he said, and pulled out of my throat so that the end of his twitching cock rested against my tongue. A second later, it felt as if a fire hose had been turned on, as he sprayed my mouth and throat with a hot coating of cum.
His load wasn’t massive, for all its force, and I was guessing I was right. He’d cum at least once already.
He pulled out of my mouth with a contented sigh.
“Glad to see you’re back with us. Edan said you’d like to be here for the finishing move.”
My eyes went wide. How the fuck did he know Edan and I weren’t the same person?
He laughed, seeing my expression.
“And I see you’ve got your eyesight back. It’s amazing what a little hypnosis will do for an unwilling boy.”
I sat there on my knees, my mouth stretched open and my tongue painted with cum, my hands bound behind my back, and shouted back into my mind. ‘Edan? What the fuck is he talking about? Hypnosis?’
The reply came back, ‘I told him you had someone hypnotise you so that you could reach your full potential, and gave him some key words to play with.’
‘You fucking tosswank!’
Edan just chuckled. ‘This man has a lot of experience training boysluts to be subservient sex slaves. If he likes you, he might take you on.’
‘That’s not funny! I don’t want to be anyone’s slave! I don’t want any of this!’
‘Then why is your cock leaking like the Lake Oroville dam?’ he asked.
I glanced down and saw that it was true. I was dripping precum like there was no tomorrow, and my cock looked painfully swollen, the head bright red.
‘You’re making me horny!’
‘No, Dane. He’s making you horny. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner we can have some real fun.’
I looked around the room, full of implements and equipment, and wondered what would happen now.
“Are you ready?” Malcolm asked.
I shivered as he smiled down at me. “For what?”
“Oh, that’s right. You don’t know. Well. It’ll be a surprise then.”
As I looked up at the man I’d just sucked off, I’d never felt so physically uneasy. If you’d asked me if I’d ever let someone put me on my knees and force me into servicing their cock, I’d have given you a disgusted ‘fuck off’. Even while I knew that was exactly what Edan, my dissociative identity disorder alter, loved best.
But this was me, here, in this cold and frankly terrifying BDSM dungeon full of equipment and objects clearly meant to be put inside arseholes like mine—and Malcolm was a stranger who’d just cum in my mouth. I could still taste it, felt it coating my tongue. I was also pretty sure I was wearing his cum on my face, and possibly other fluids that I didn’t want to think about.
My hands were tied behind my back, I was gagged with my mouth stretched open like some sideshow clown waiting for a ping-pong ball, and what was really fucking with my mind was how hard I was, despite being fucking terrified of what he was going to do to me next.
Malcolm alone couldn’t have forced me into this. Only Edan had that power. If I was anyone’s bitch it was his, since he had me by the balls. And by every other part of my body.
Malcolm put a hand under my arm and pulled me to my feet. He undid the device keeping my mouth open and took it off.
I stretched my aching jaw and tried to speak, but Edan made sure nothing came out.
“You’re doing well,” said Malcolm. “Keep it up and we’ll both have a good night.”
“Thank you,” Edan simpered on my behalf, casting his eyes down.
Malcolm raised an eyebrow. “Who am I speaking to now?”
“Dane,” said Edan. Realising he was about to be sprung, he mimicked my voice perfectly. “I’m just a bit nervous.”
Malcolm smiled and ran a hand through my hair. “Perhaps I was too rough with you before. You’re clearly new to all this. I must admit, it’s a novel approach, having yourself hypnotised so that you can unleash your inner masochist.”
Oh Jesus fucking fuck fuck!
‘Do you want your vocal chords back?’ Edan teased me.
I suddenly had control of my larynx.
“I don’t want to do this,” I said desperately to Malcolm. “I don’t want any of it. Please let me go, I’ll do anything you want, anything, just please don’t...”
I trailed off, as Malcolm gave me an indulgent smile. He wasn’t moved by my pleading at all. No, instead, he was fondling himself while I begged him to let me go.
“I’ve never met another boy who could shift between perfect submissiveness, abject fear, and slutty abandon like this,” He put a hand to my jaw, slowly tilting my head left, then right, his eyes fixed to mine as he continued to stroke himself.
“I’m not sure you’d make a good slave. A good slave boy is a natural submissive. Something in you... is not.”
Me, I thought. That would be me.
Edan kept me still as Malcolm manipulated my head towards the light and away from it again, looking for something—fuck knows what.
He dropped his hand to my shoulder. “But I promised some very good friends a night of fun, and I think you’ll be able to manage that. We still have an hour to get you into the right frame of mind. Are you going to be good for me? Or do I need to punish you again?”
Punish me? Again??
‘You should have heard yourself moaning while he beat you,’ said Edan, his voice loaded with amusement. ‘He finds it very arousing. Encourages him to go harder.’
Oh Jesus Christ.
There was no way out. My hands were still bound behind my back, and while I could speak, what could I say to get him to let me go? This man thought any resistance I gave him was part of some elaborate act I used to get myself off. He had me on video agreeing to anything he might do here to me tonight, and only he and Edan knew what I’d agreed to in writing. I was utterly fucked.
‘Oh, come on, Dane. You’re no one’s bitch! You’ve told me that over and over again. So nut him in the face and overpower him! Run out of his house naked, with your hands bound behind your back, and your willy flopping about, screaming for help! You can do it! I believe in you!’
He sniggered as he projected an image of me doing just that, into my mind’s eye. It wasn’t overly dignified.
“Well?” said Malcolm. “How much force do I need to use on you?”
I shook my head, swallowing around a lump in my throat, and whispered, “Don’t do this.”
“I can’t hear you.”
I raised my eyes. And my voice.
“Don’t you dare fucking touch me.” My voice was choked, and not very convincing.
A dark smile spread across his face. “I see more correction’s in order.”
He grabbed my arm and led me towards a piece of equipment that looked like a weirdly shaped, padded exercise bench.
I struggled against him. “No, no, no!”
I wrenched out of his grip and stumbled towards the stairs.
I came back to find myself fastened to the bench. My hands were cuffed in front of me, with the upper part of the bench supporting my chest, while my ankles were attached to the lower part, keeping me on my hands and knees. My arse was on fire, and the indignity of waking up to find I’d been beaten threw me into a rage.
“Let me up now! Get me off here!”
I tugged desperately at the handcuffs, but froze when I heard a soft thwack, thwack, thwack. Malcolm came back into view carrying a leather strap, slapping it against his thigh as he positioned himself at my head.
I looked up at him. “Please, let me go!”
He gave me a quizzical look. “So, it’s Edan who loves pain, and Dane who’s afraid of everything.”
He crouched so that we were eye to eye. “Where do you go, when he’s in control?”
“You know, then,” I said hoarsely. “You know everything.”
He put a hand on my head, stroking his fingers through my hair as he spoke. “You’re not the first boy I’ve met who can’t reconcile what he wants with who he thinks he is.”
“Please,” I said, weaker this time.
He laughed and straightened up.
“Why won’t you let me go?” I asked. I sounded truly pathetic.
“Because, my boy, what your alter hasn’t told you, is that you’ve sold yourself for the night. And since that money’s already in your bank account, and you’ve consented to everything I could possibly want, whatever goes on in that damaged head of yours isn’t my concern.”
There was sniggering from the dark.
‘Be careful,’ said Edan. ‘If you aren’t the compliant little sex slave I sold him, he’s likely to punish you in ways that’ll break you permanently. He’s insisted that if you gob off again, I’m to make sure you’re present for any corrective action he has to take.’
“Oh God, please no, please...” I broke off into incomprehensible, snivelling syllables.
Malcolm took pity on me. “Do you remember your safe word?”
I shouted into the dark. ‘Edan! What the fuck is my safe word?’
‘Oh, settle down,’ he said. ‘It’s Simak.’
I had no idea where that word had come from, or what it meant to him, but who cared?
“Simak!” I said. “Simak!”
Malcolm crouched again. “Good. Now, let me make this clear. You’ve sold yourself for a princely sum of money, as a nineteen-year old, straight anal virgin, in need of breaking in. Now, if your sadist alter can’t take pain at some point, you can use your safe word and I’ll ease off. I won’t stop, but I will go easier on you. But if you throw out your safe word when you’re clearly fine, we’re going to have a problem.”
I was sure that wasn’t how BDSM worked. He had to stop if I said ‘stop’, didn’t he?
‘Not if he’s paid for you.’
“I’ll give you back your money!” I said. Although, even as I said it, I grew curious as to how much it was. I desperately needed money. My job barely paid the rent, and I was always borrowing off my parents for things like food and petrol. And weed (not that I told them that).
Edan chuckled. ‘It’s two thousand pounds,’ he whispered. ‘Whoooore.’
Malcolm gripped a handful of my hair and wrenched my head up so I had to meet his gaze. “If you hadn’t covered off all these conversations so completely in your emails, I’d almost be convinced you wanted me to stop.”
“Please stop,” I whispered. “Please, I can’t do this.”
He studied my face, the muscles at the corners of his eyes tightening as he tried to decide if I was serious or not. Eventually he grunted and let go of my hair. He stepped away behind me again, and started to fondle my arse with one hand—my arse which was still smarting from whatever punishment he’d meted out before Edan let me back up.
“What are you doing?” I asked, glancing back over my shoulder.
“What we agreed we’d do if you kept whining. But don’t worry. As near as I can tell, you’re enjoying yourself. I haven’t seen your dick go limp yet, and if you were as afraid as you say you are, you’d be shrivelled up, not leaking precum all over my equipment. You’ll be cleaning that up when we’re done, by the way.”
I closed my eyes, sucking down my humiliation. But he was right. I was hard as a rock... and part of me was curious to see why Edan liked pain so much. To understand what he got out of it.
I jumped as the leather strap flicked across my exposed arse. It was just a lick of leather, but it stung like fuck, and I couldn’t help crying out.
Malcolm said calmly, “We’ll keep going until you learn to take it without whining.”
He massaged my sore arse.
“Don’t touch me!”
“You’re not a fast learner, are you, boy?”
The strap hit my arse again. This time, all he choked out of me was a whimper of pain. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it fucking stung.
He alternated between torturing and fondling me, and I took his beating with barely a flinch by imagining I was with my girlfriend. I hung my head and imagined eating out my girlfriend, burying my head between her thighs, sliding my tongue up and down her slit, inhaling her, tasting her. Imagined licking her into a frenzy, feeling her thighs shudder under my hands—
Edan punched the image out of my mind.
‘Don’t you dare!’
Malcolm gave me one last hard slap with the leather strap, and rested a hand against the small of my back. “Dane?”
“Yes,” I said, my voice broken and miserable.
“You can relax. You’ve done well.”
He set the strap to one side and fetched a bottle of lotion. He directed a squirt of it against the upper part of my arse, and as it hit and pooled there, the sensation felt oddly familiar.
‘Imagine it warm,’ Edan gloated, and I shuddered.
Malcolm snapped the bottle shut and started to massage the lotion into my arse.
I relaxed under his hands. It felt nice—still odd, being handled by a stranger, but better than being smacked with a leather strap.
He ran a finger down to the plug, still lodged in my arse, and took hold of it. I tensed, terrified of what he was coming, and he slapped my arse.
“Relax. Enjoy yourself.”
Sure. I’d enjoy myself because I’d been told to.
He fucked me slowly with the plug, forcing noises of fear from my throat, and he chuckled.
“Feels nice, doesn’t it?”
It did, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
And then the pressure of the plug against my hole started to grow as he started to slide it out.
I hadn’t been there when Edan had inserted it, and having it removed was like riding a rollercoaster, being at the crest of the first hill, looking down, waiting for the acceleration to hit your stomach.
“Please, please, don’t, please—”
The uncomfortable stretching stopped, as he let the plug sink back into my arse.
I was relieved; but at the same time, I knew he wasn’t going to let me off the hook and leave it in. The thing was—what if I wasn’t clean? What if, when he took it out, I made a mess?
‘Oh, don’t worry, I had you tucked away while I cleaned you out,’ said Edan. ‘Having you present would have given the game away. But other than some sweat and lotion, you’re clean enough to eat from!’
Malcolm stroked a hand down my spine, and my back arched involuntarily under his touch.
He took hold of the plug again.
I couldn’t stop myself tensing as my arse stretched wide over the neck of the plug—and then the worst was over. He eased it the rest of the way out of me and put it to one side, and I clenched at the odd emptiness. How long had Edan been making me wear plugs, that it felt more natural being full, then empty?
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Malcolm patted my arse.
He kneaded my buttocks, cupping and squeezing, and I was sure it was more to remind me that I couldn’t stop him, than to give me any kind of pleasure. Although... it did feel nice.
Then his thumbs started to brush the inside of the crease between them. There was no denying I was getting even more turned on, having him handle me like this, especially after the pain of being beaten.
He ran one hand down my crack so that his fingers brushed lightly against my hole, and then went back to massaging my arse.
The fingers kneading my buttocks began to brush across my hole, stroke after stroke, and soon a lotion-slicked finger was circling my entrance.
“Don’t worry,” said Malcolm. “You’ll enjoy this. I’ve never met a boy, straight or gay, who didn’t enjoy having his arsehole fingered.”
I didn’t doubt he was right. And that was what scared me.
The circling finger stopped moving, and pressed against the tense centre of my tightened sphincter.
‘I can make this easier,’ said Edan. ‘If you ask nicely.’
As Malcolm applied pressure steadily, the alien sensation of being breached made me whimper again.
‘Da-aaane? You have to ask nicely.’
The pressure from Malcolm’s finger increased.
‘Alright, alright, please help me!’
Just like that, I relaxed, and Malcolm’s finger slid smoothly inside.
“Hoooohh, fuck,” I said under my breath.
‘See how nice that feels?’ Edan asked. ‘You’ll thank me for this one day.’
Malcolm’s finger moved inside me while he massaged my arse with his other hand.
‘And you’ll thank me for this, too.’ Edan pulled back, and I immediately clamped down around Malcolm’s finger.
“Excellent,” he said. “This really is your first time, isn’t it? If you do well tonight, I may decide to keep you.”
I shuddered uncontrollably, while Edan nuzzled against the inside of my mind.
‘Think about it, Dane,’ His voice was full of longing. ‘Imagine being forced into permanent service. You’d have no sense of yourself. You’d be lost to the world. You might never come back.’
While he didn’t have a physical shape, the way he spoke gave me an image of him rolling around in his fantasy like a dog itching its back on grass, his eyes closed in ecstasy.
I wasn’t sure which frightened me more; his fantasy, or that he was part of me.
Malcolm’s finger slid out of me and went back to circling in lazy circles, leaving me desperate to have him inside me again.
He teased me mercilessly, pressing against the centre then releasing the pressure, until I started pushing back against him, urging him inside. I wanted it, wanted him back inside me.
“Good boy,” he said softly, and he gave me what I wanted, and slid his finger in deep. I moaned and gave into it, and soon the first was joined by a second finger.
After being stretched out by the plug, it wasn’t that uncomfortable, but it was impossible not to clamp around his fingers. His fingers weren’t static like the plug, and every time he pushed them apart to open me up, I gave a nervous sob of fear.
‘Why are you so afraid?’ Edan said. ‘Do you really think he’s going to hurt you?’
No, I didn’t get that sense from him. He just wanted to use my body in any way he saw fit.
‘So let him,’ said Edan. ‘Let. Him.’
Malcolm’s fingers kept moving inside me, and I did my best to relax.
“Good boy,” he murmured. “That’s the way.”
He kept working my arsehole, and then lowered his mouth to my arse.
I yelped as he bit me, a sharp pain lancing through my left arse cheek. I yelled out again as he bit the right one, and he pulled his fingers out of me, and wiped them on a towel he had handy.
“Right, let’s get you on your back.”
He was going to fuck me. Oh Christ, he was going to fuck me.
I started to slip away from what was happening, but Edan snapped alert the moment I tried to hide, and hauled me back.
‘Oh no, Dane—this, you’re here for.’
I found my voice as Malcolm started to uncuff my hands from the bench.
“Please, not like this.”
He gave me a considering look. “Do you mean that?”
Edan took over. “Quester.”
“You really want to call in your one free-pass for this?”
I had no idea what he meant, and I didn’t care.
“Please,” I said. “I’ll do what you want, but don’t fuck me like this.”
He sighed through his nose. “Alright then.” He undid my hands and pulled me to my feet. “It’s not what we agreed, but if you have another idea and it amuses me, I’ll indulge you. What do you have in mind?”
What did I have in mind?
Edan had the answer. He seized control of my body. His arms hung at his sides, and he lowered his head submissively as he looked up at Malcolm, his eyes as wide and innocent as possible.
“Please do it upstairs. In front of the others. I want them to watch.”
I did not want them to watch!
Malcolm raised an eyebrow. “Edan, you’re not as good an actor as you think you are.”
Edan gave him a sheepish smile. “You got me. But please, he’s squeamish about the dungeon. Fuck him any way you want, but pat his head, make him feel like a real boy.”
I cringed at everything Edan was saying, but he wasn’t wrong when it came to being fucked in a dungeon. That I was going to get fucked in the arse one way or another was just a given at this point, and I was as excited as I was afraid of the idea. But if it had to happen, down here, strapped to a bench—wasn’t how I wanted my first time to go.
Malcolm pointed to the bench, which was smeared with clear, viscous fluid.
“Get it clean, and I’ll consider it.”
Edan walked over to the bench and knelt by it so that he was facing Malcolm.
Malcolm watched, amused, as Edan lapped my precum up off the bench, nuzzling at it, spreading it even further with his closed lips as he kissed the vinyl, finishing by licking every inch of the surface clean. When he was done, he rested his elbows on the bench and propped his chin on his clasped hands, a smouldering sexuality in his eyes.
Malcolm stalked back to me and hauled me to my feet.
“Very good. But drop the slut act, Edan. That’s not what we’re paying you for.”
Edan pouted. “But he hates it. It makes him twitch.”
Malcolm gave him an indulgent smile. “You’re a very disturbed individual.”
He fetched some leather restraints from a bench and pulled my hands behind my back, locking them in place.
Edan glanced back at the restraints. “So, what now?”
“Now, you give me back Dane, and I’ll take him upstairs. Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of him.”
Edan gave him a long look. I’d never thought of him, at any point in our history, as a protector. But in that moment, that was exactly what he was. He’d had his fun, he’d enjoyed torturing me. He was getting his fantasies fed. But he didn’t want anything to happen to me that’d push me beyond my endurance.
“He’s in safe hands, Edan.”
Edan nodded once, and left me shivering in his place.
Malcolm put a hand on my shoulder.
“Up you go.”
He guided me towards the stairs, and followed me up.
Because Edan had blinded me, I hadn’t seen the house when I’d walked through it. The upstairs was a stark contrast to the dungeon; as you’d expect, I suppose. Malcolm was clearly doing well for himself.
I wondered what he did, to be able to afford this kind of place. Edan had turned me into a two-thousand pound a night rent boy, and Malcolm had just paid it. I knew I wasn’t anything special, so the money had to mean nothing to him. The furnishings in his living room suggested I was right. There was no IKEA here.
He led me through to a library. His house had a library.
The room was dressed with leather couches and upholstered chairs, and the walls were lined with book shelves and wood panelled cupboards. At the end of the room, two narrow wrought iron staircases led up to mezzanines that ran either side of the room, giving access to another set of bookshelves. Between the open staircases was a boxed fireplace, already lit.
To one side of the room was a polished mahogany coffee, where a scattering of coffee table books were on display. It was all so civilised.
Edan was back to his fun-loving self. ‘You know, I could make you see anything. You could be in a doss-house right now, wallpaper peeling off the walls, the carpet stained with cum, and stinking of piss. A hobo in every corner, shooting up, eyeing up your nubile, naked, nineteen-year old boy-slave body.’
Could he really do that, I wondered? Make me see things that weren’t there?
As if to prove his point, the world around me warped. It was no more than a heat shimmer off tarseal on a hot day, but it was enough to give me a stab of fear. What if I was the one with a needle in my arm?
A light slap from Malcolm brought me back.
“I want you present, Dane,” said Malcolm. “I paid for you; I want your attention.”
I obediently turned my gaze back to his face and he put a hand on the back of my neck, and directed me over to a couch that ran down one side of the room, exerting force to get me to sit.
I planted my naked arse on his leather couch, and wondered how many other naked arses had sat on it before me.
Malcolm poured himself a scotch, and I eyed it hungrily.
“None for you,” he said. “You’re screwed up enough sober.”
He picked up one of the coffee table books and brought it to me, sitting beside me so that he could lay the book in my lap.
It was a book of erotic art, and he opened it one-handed as he sipped his drink.
“I’m going to show you some art. I want you to tell me what you think.”
I gave him a confused look. “Why—?”
“Keep your mouth shut until I tell you to speak,” he said. “Now, look at the picture.”
He sipped, while I obediently looked at the painting he’d picked out. It was of a naked woman with long golden hair draped over her shoulders. She was looking right at me, her arm draped across her belly, her fingers curled to hide her sex. The look in her eyes was shameless. She knew she was being admired, and she liked it. It was titled, ‘Titian’s Venus of Urbino’.
“What do you think?” Malcolm asked.
I nodded towards the image. “She’s hot. I’d fuck her.” I looked closer. “But why is there a girl purging in the background?”
“She’s praying,” he said dryly. “So, this turns you on?”
I shrugged. “I suppose.” In fact, she looked a lot like one of my exes.
“How about this one?”
He flattened the page by pushing against the centre of the book. It was titled ‘Study of a man’ by Achille Etna Michallon. The painting was of a naked man turned three quarters away from the artist, the foot nearest the painter resting on an upturned wooden apple box, as he leaned over to grasp his ankle. The pose gave me a great view of his muscular arse and thighs, his perfect calves and the definition in his arched back.
My gaze was drawn to the darkness at the base of the man’s buttocks, and as if I had x-ray vision, I could imagine the perfect forms of his cock and balls, which were hidden from the artist by the man’s lean, muscled thigh.
“He’s perfect,” Edan and I said in unison.
My gaze travelled over the image, picking out another detail—a dark nipple drawn against his chest.
“Okay,” said Malcolm. He sipped his drink as he flicked through the pages of the book, which slid across my lap as he fumbled with it.
The final image he showed me was one I’d seen somewhere before. I gave him a curious look. “Why are you showing me hentai?”
The image was of a Japanese woman lying on her back, an octopus’s mouth pressed between her legs, and one of its tentacles invading her mouth.
“This predates that anime crap you boys watch,” he said. He spread his fingers to push the page flatter. “It’s called ‘The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife’, first printed in 1814.”
He sipped his drink while I looked over the image. Looking closer, it wasn’t one octopus, but one large one—the one between her legs—and a smaller one, up by her head. The smaller one had its beak in her mouth in a way that was suggestive of a penis, and one tentacle curled around her left nipple.
It was erotic. But... odd. It didn’t really do anything for me.
“Okay.” He slammed the book shut and finished his drink. He glanced up at a clock on the wall. It was nearly nine-thirty.
“Ten minutes to go. Let’s go over the rules.”
He got up and dropped the book and his glass on the coffee table, then came back to stand in front of me. He kicked my feet apart and stood between my open legs, forcing me to look up at him.
“Dane, I have paid a great deal of money to use your body. Given your exceptional circumstances, namely that you have no idea what you’ve agreed to, let me remind you. These are your agreed limits. No strangulation. No scat. No permanent damage. No marking where it’d be visible while wearing jeans and a t-shirt. No piercing or body modification. No double penetration. No chastity. No feminisation.”
That all sounded good. For the second time that night, I quietly thanked Edan.
Malcolm put his hands in his pockets. “And here’s what that leaves. Oral, anal, rimming, throat-fucking, bondage, pain administered to, and marks left on, areas not visible when wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Edging. Denial. Anything else we can come up with.”
He gave me a smile that made my gut clench. What was that word? The safe word Edan had used. What the fuck was it? It was something weird, and it had started with ‘S’, but I couldn’t remember what it was. Why hadn’t he used something easier to remember?
Stupid question, really.
“I’m paying, for you. I don’t want Edan in the room at any time, unless I ask for him. Is that clear?” said Malcolm.
I nodded. It wasn’t worth pointing out that I had no control over what Edan did.
“If Edan turns up without my permission, I’ll beat him out of you so hard, you won’t be able to sit down for a week, and all your agreed limits go out the window, since it won’t be you we’re dealing with. Understand?”
I stared at him. I hoped Edan was listening.
“Now, when my friends arrive, your first task’ll be to greet them with your mouth. It’ll be good practice for you, since your performance so far’s been less than stellar. I want you on your knees, eyes down, unless you’re being used. When your mouth’s full, keep your eyes on whoever you’re servicing. Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to, and if you’re asked a question, answer promptly and keep it short. No one wants to hear your life story—but they might be curious as to why you’ve sold yourself. I’ll say it again—keep it short. Are you with me so far?”
I nodded, nervous as all fuck at the thought of having to suck a bunch of men’s cocks. Sucking off Marty had been bad enough. Malcolm using my mouth had been worse. And now four other guys, who were paying to cum in and on me? I wasn’t sure how I’d ever be able to look myself in the eye again.
Edan grinned. ‘And once he's taken your cherry, they'll fill you at both ends with nice, thick man-cream like a human brandy snap’
Christ, what a visual.
Malcolm went on, “I haven’t decided how I’m going to fuck you yet, but after I’ve had you, you’ll be used in whatever way the boys see fit. I’ve got you for eight hours in total—till four in the morning. So I’ll be working you hard to get my money’s worth.”
“Lastly, if anyone gives you an instruction that doesn’t contravene that list I just gave you, I expect you to do it without question. If you don’t, you’ll be encouraged to comply. There’ll be five of us, and one of you. If you like those odds, and you get ‘squeamish’ again like you did downstairs, feel free to try your luck. But there’s quite a lot of your body that isn’t visible when you’re in jeans and a t-shirt for us to play with.”
I swallowed hard. “Can I please have some water?” My mouth was completely devoid of saliva.
He nodded. “Stay respectful, and you can have anything you like, within reason. That said, if it amuses us, we may choose to deny you. Keep that in mind too. At two hundred and fifty pounds an hour, I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless it’s being used, and give my boys as many orgasms as they can manage. Understand?”
He stroked a hand through my hair. “Such a good looking boy,” he mused. “You have a very alluring mouth.”
Good to know.
He came back to himself “You’ll do well. Right, I’ll get you some water.”
He disappeared, leaving me alone in the library to brood.
‘Whore,’ whispered Edan. ‘You’re about to get fucked in the arse by five men. Are you excited?’
Parts of me were. Well, one part, at least. I was rigid as I’d ever been.
Malcolm came back a short while later with a carafe of water and some glasses on a tray. He set the tray on the table, then poured some water into a glass and brought it to me.
He sat next to me and started to stroke my cock, as he held the glass to my lips.
“Drink it all,” he said, and tipped the glass up. My eyes slid sideways to his face, as I gulped down the water. I was alarmed at how intently he was watching me, as if just this was erotic to him.
Luckily, the glass was only half full, and I was thirsty, but the look on his face left me with a mounting nervousness that was approaching panic.
“You really must learn to relax, Dane.”
He kept stroking my cock, slow strokes, gently squeezing the head, then stroking the shaft again.
“Close your eyes.”
He put a hand against my chest and pushed, encouraging me to lean back against the couch.
I did as he said and tried to relax, even though I knew there were only minutes on the clock before his friends were due to arrive.
He kept stroking me, and then to my surprise, he put his arms around me and kissed me. My eyes flew open.
“Keep your eyes closed,” he murmured against my lips, and I did as he asked, as he went back to kissing me.
I’d never kissed a man before. It felt odd, a man’s stubble scratching my face. But while I was tense, in the back of my mind, Edan was shivering with pleasure.
I let Malcolm explore my mouth with his tongue while his hand stroked me, and before long, I started to kiss him back.
The doorbell rang.
He made a noise of frustration and moved back, giving me a final kiss on the lips.
“You’ll do fine. Remember. We’ve paid for you, not Edan.”
He left to answer the door.
I wanted to ask why, specifically, he wanted me, when Edan was clearly more into it than I ever would be, but I thought I knew the answer. The fact I wasn’t into it was what they got off on. The thrill of taking a reluctant, self-identified, straight nineteen year old, and forcing him to submit to their perverted fantasies. It was sick. So why did it make me so fucking hard?
And then, there was the two thousand pounds in my bank account.
‘Whooore,’ whispered Edan. ‘Does taking money get your hard?’
There was noise in the corridor, and Malcolm led a group of men into the library. Seeing me still where he’d left me, he gave me an annoyed look, nodding his head towards the floor, and I got off the couch and dropped to my knees in the middle of the room as his friends finished filing in.
They were all a lot older than me, all of them wealthy-looking and well groomed. I cast a quick glance over them, then dropped my eyes to the floor, remembering Malcolm’s instructions.
“What have we got here?” one of them said, his voice gruff. He walked up to me and placed a hand on the top of my head. He had very shiny shoes. Was I supposed to look up at this point? I wasn’t sure. I snuck a look up at his face, and found a short man with a round face looking down at me. He was clean shaven, wearing wire-rimmed glasses, and his head was completely bald.
He gave me a lustful look, then looked across at Malcolm. “A very pretty boy, indeed, you weren’t lying.” He looked back at me. “Nineteen? Are you sure?”
Malcolm crouched beside me. “I know his type. He won’t fill out until he’s in his late twenties.” He gripped a fistful of my hair, and turned my head to face him. “Do you remember your instructions?”
“Eyes down, unless you’re working his cock. Understand?”
I nodded again, and he let go of my hair and straightened up.
“Lester, do you want to be the first to use his mouth?”
Oh fuck. This was really happening. I was about to have to suck off a bunch of strangers for money.
“I’d love to,” said Lester. “Has he learnt much in the way of technique?”
“Nothing whatsoever,” said Malcolm. “I’ve had no time to teach him. But he’ll know plenty by the end of tonight.”
The bastards all laughed, while Lester put a hand to his zip and pulled his trousers open. He pulled down the elastic on the front of his briefs, and flopped out a rather small cock over a pair of modest, hairy balls. It wasn’t inspiring, but least I wouldn’t be choking on him.
‘Edan,’ I whispered silently, ‘Can you please do this for me?’
There was silence.
Lester was already filling out as I stared at the job in front of me, his cock slowly thickening and starting to straighten.
“What’s your name, boy?” asked Lester.
“Dane,” I said. I kept my eyes on his cock, keeping in mind Malcolm’s instructions to keep my head down.
“This your first time sucking a cock?”
I shook my head.
“So what’s the hold up?”
“Dane, is there a problem?” asked Malcolm.
I shook my head again. I took a deep breath and leaned forward to take Lester’s half-hard cock in my mouth.
He put a hand on the back of my head, as I started bobbing up and down on his cock.
“You’re right,” he said to Malcolm. “He’s fucking terrible. I’ve had better blowjobs from my vacuum cleaner.”
I gave him a pissed off look and Malcolm laughed.
“Oh dear, I think you’ve hurt his feelings. Go easy on him. Remember what I told you about his alter?”
“Oh, yeees. I’m curious to see this alter.”
Malcolm grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me off Lester’s cock. He forced me to look up at him.
“Edan? Do you want to show Dane how it’s done?”
Edan poured into my body like warm water. He grinned up at Malcolm, and Malcolm let go of my hair.
Edan turned his attention to Lester. He gave the man a lustful look, and then shuffled in closer on his knees. He started to lick Lester’s cock all over, dipping his head to lick along the seam between the man’s balls, then ran his tongue in a long line along the underside of his cock, tracing his way up the shaft. He finished by circling Lester’s cockhead with his tongue, before plunging down on his cock all the way to the base.
“Good God, that’s good,” said Lester, as Edan worked him with ruthless enthusiasm. Edan kept his eyes on Lester’s face the whole time, taking the man’s short dick into his throat on every third stroke.
Lester put both hands on my head as his dick started to twitch in Edan’s mouth. Just as he was about to cum, Malcolm barked, “Edan, leave!”
I panicked as Lester held my head on his cock and pumped hot cum into my mouth. I tried to pull away, but Lester wasn’t letting me go anywhere.
“Take it,” he growled. “Take it all.”
He held me on him until he’d finished cumming, and then let me go.
I dropped my eyes to the floor, breathing hard. That had been nerve-wracking, but nowhere near as bad as I’d thought it’d be.
I ran my tongue around the inside of my mouth, and found the taste of cum was growing on me. I almost found it pleasant. Jesus. What was happening to me?
Lester gripped my hair and held his softening cock out. “You’re not done.”
I looked up at him wide-eyed as he guided himself back into my mouth. I tongued him clean as he squeezed out the last few drops, and when I was done, kept my eyes on his face. I was in a daze.
“I think you’re right,” said Lester to Malcolm. “It’s an expression of repressed sexuality. Have you got him medicated, or are we just working on exposure therapy?”
Malcolm put a finger to his lips. “Not in front of the boy.”
I looked from Lester to Malcolm. What the fuck was going on?
Malcolm crouched beside me again and put an arm around my shoulders. He put his lips next to my ear.
“Edan, I need you to remove what Doctor Johnstone’s just said from Dane’s memory. Can you do that?”
I blinked. Malcolm had his arm around my shoulders. I looked sideways at him, confused. I felt I’d missed time again, but I couldn’t be sure.
“How was that?” he asked. “Looks as if you enjoyed yourself.”
He glanced down, and I followed his gaze. The evidence was there. I’d never been so hard in my life.
“Do you want to cum?” he asked.
“Then you know what to do. Noel—let’s see if he can do a better job for you.”
Lester moved away, and another man took his place. He already had his thick cock out and was slowly jacking it.
I could smell his crotch, a strong male musk, and the scent of shaving foam from where he’d tidied himself.
I travelled my eyes up to his face, and saw a man with a groomed beard and thick hair slicked back. He looked younger than the others, only greying at the temples, and had to have been six three, six four. He was wearing a wedding ring, and I wondered if he was married to a man or a woman.
He caressed my jaw as I looked up at him.
“I want what Edan gave Lester. Can you do that for me?”
Something inside me twitched at that phrase. Good boy.
I got to work, replicating the techniques Edan had used, and was rewarded with a sigh of pleasure from Noel.
He caressed my hair, his eyes full of lust. “Good, good. That’s the way.”
His touch and the praise started to work on my head. I was still trapped, but I was starting to enjoy myself. After all, I didn’t have a choice. So if there was any way to take pleasure from what I was doing, I figured I should take it.
As Noel got close, Malcolm knelt behind me. His heat was at my back, one hand resting on my shoulder, while he wrapped his other hand around my dick.
I moaned around Noel’s cock as Malcolm slowly stroked me.
“Sucking cock feels good, doesn’t it?” he murmured in my ear.
I nodded as Noel’s dick started to twitch in my mouth.
“Swallowing cum is what you were born for,” said Malcolm quietly.